So I called my mom. She was actually preparing some lunch, though. It's Friday, and for Kelantanese, it's a weekend. I did not know what she was cooking but I smelled spicy chicken curry. Talk about telepathy.
It has been so long since I reveal my true feeling to my mom. She should have been my confidante, yes she was, until I dropped the cursing bombs. I know, I am the ungrateful child. But lets put that behind now. Right now I'm writing how was the conversation followed.
Skip the silly "hello" and "how do you do".
I told her that I lost my direction when I came here. It's like, I've achieved what I've always wanted. I scored my dreams, like many wants to do. I told her that, since then, I've no reason to pursue other things. Like my study and the other stuffs.
She asked me, are you all right? I said yes, hesitantly, expect the goal part. And then finally she said something that I should have heard before.
"Jijie you have achieved something that many others could not. Do you know how many people would trade anything just to be at your place? Everyone. Why don't you just sit down, take a deep breathe, and ponder, what great life have you been through, and be grateful to Allah for what He has bestowed. For He is the One who made all these beautiful lives possible and pleasant. Thank Him and you'll know what you should do.
Yes, that few moments has taught me, how difficult things could be, even in the most easy situation. Because I just forgot what this life is all about, it's about Him, it's about responsibility, it's about taking chances.
Thanks mom. My life can never be perfect without your spirit in it.
Suddenly I miss Malaysia.
