I'm feeling nauseous.
There were some people, who committed an act of transgression at me, and still are, and never care to ceasefire but keeping to backfire.
It was since forever eons ago, when I actually submitted myself into this MARA TESOL program, and some people never really get bored of giving me a spotlight of shame. They wanted to humiliate me, ruin my confidence and poised look and make me cursing all day like a total bitch.
Here are some extract of our little decent conversation:
A: Hey I heard you got into Auckland Uni. Congratz! U must be thrilled!
Me : Oh don't mention it. I had a cold feet and weird dreams about this. haha. This is too big for me to handle alone. Lucky I got some friends in the same shoes. At least we are together through cheers and tears.
A: Aaa.. so you aren't alone. BTW what is your major?
Me: TESOL. English major and teaching. And I have 5-year bond with my sponsor to devote myself. haha! What a deal!
A: I know a friend who are sponsored, as well, and he's not gonna pay a penny. Not even a contract to wrap him in. Why does he get that fund; and are you in the same system? But he is not bonded to any agreement. And he told me that you are not fully funded; but he is.
Me: Well that's not true.
A: Then get my facts right.
Me: Ok, mine is convertible loan.....(interjected)
A: A loan?
Me: Yes.. A loan. But convertible. Actually I don't really have to pay since I'm working for this institution as I graduated. Unless if I breach the contract, then I have to confirm to the statement. And your friend, yes,he is not tied to any conditional offer; like us. But...
A: So it seems he has a better luck. Oh! (making sorry face)
Me: hmm.. perhaps, don't worry though. I feel a lot luckier than anyone else.(start being a bitch) (grimace)
A: (trying to backfire) So eventually you are a teacher right? You have gone so far; to a foreign country ; so worshiped among your company,but finally; JUST A TEACHER? really?
Me: (pissed off) Well for the first 5 years. I think its a good ground to play before I leap into a more precarious department. YEAH, a degree from a respectable university and long 5 years of teaching experience. Doesn't that sound very eligible for a higher post? Besides I think I'm not really quite enjoy my first few youth years seeking jobs in the merciless city of KL, wandering around some indecent hookers and pole dancers, moving from girl to girl like some immature adult who is drowned in the nightmare of youth? So much like someone we know here.
A: But a degree for a teaching profession? You know what, you gonna stuck there for your entire life. Plenty of your kind did.
Me: Really? so what are you gonna do then? Sitting on the couch and enjoy laughing at my average-waged lifestyle? You know what; a person like you don't even worth a fine conversation. you just gonna ruin it though. I don't know what I had in mind when I plan telling you about my dreams. Screw you!!
That's the end of a ruthless dialogue between a green-eye monster who never seen enough breakdowns and an ambassador wannabe. This "A" nobody who had me whacked at my speech and spit sinister curses, which afterall get me into pointless rows of nothing, but just 'heart burn". Perhaps I should spend some time licking at my own wound.
I may sound like a scorned freshman who is baffled at the idea of "teaching profession" which does not alley with "great profession", like most of my friends do. But can someone please tell me, is that too bad of a job, being a teacher?!
"A" who is an attention addict, maybe you can prove to me a better fortune; but you will never earn my respect!
