I'm freaking out. Right now and before.
They say that birds of a feather flock together, but I'm not a bird of any categories, yet I chickened out.
It was in the English Writing Tutorial when the avalanche of intimidation fell right on my lap, disgracing me. Well, there is always a first time for everything, and it seemed to hit me hard when I stumbled in my writing class.
I was supposed to write an intro for the topic and I could not even scribble the first draft; my brain was frozen out of the cold interaction between my team mates. There were 3 girls in the group and conspicuously I was the only person with a dick and a passport. They were all local. And the best part, they were not even interested to know me while all I could do was staring deep into their blue eyes for some speeches to pop out. I just wanted some nice conversation to break the ice.
But it turned that these girls were pretty serious and focused at the assignment, which I could not put my head on. I was too busy looking around for some clues of WTH am I doing here. FTW!! This intimidation has just paralyzed my whole system.
And then it was the double way talk between tutor and students, where this tutor was overly eager to slay my pride by prompting me with some ideas, which I could not grab tight since he chewed his words. And you expect me to catch you words captive?! No way! I did not even have a tape recorder.
Since I could not harness my focus any longer, each moment was spent watching at that lousy ticking clock. Oh what one longggggggg hour! Oh babes, hopefully you will work out your issue with second-speakers. This is initial stage and I ain't that good yet. And once I have my focus compass back, I'll surely impress you. Not only that bookworm at the backyard can do that.
But after all, we have no strings attached. Not even rubber band bond. But I care. A lot.
The first challenge is done. Not that satisfying, but I'll try harder. What is next?
