fuck fuck fuck!!!!!! fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!
Now I don't know if I worth for something. I used to think that I can do English Writing, both academic and narrative. That's the area I can root for by the way. But now, I don't know if I worth for anything.
First that I have this insomnia problem, very serious insomnia. Last night I could not sleep at all. AT ALL.
Thus I have this attitude issue with my tutor, because I skipped her class once since I was deep asleep. Her class is at 9 am, which is my bedtime. If I do it, again, it's time to call the big guns. I'm so dead.
Next, my interest. OK, let me be honest here. The only idea that interest me to go to Auckland is to live abroad and see how's life here. Studying is a mere excuse to allow me achieve my dream. And since I've settled the goal, I need to seek another goal here, to get a grip into my studies.
I don't want to be like some people who do the job in account of obligation, not interest. I want to do something out of love, not force.
And now I feel forced to follow the lifestyle here. that's the price that I have to pay for coming here, right.
And fuck again!!
I HATE MY ENGLISH WRITING CLASS!!
I've never met someone so demanding at first assignment. I understand that this university sets a very high standard on the student. But they also should understand my situation as an English-as-second-language speaker. English is not natural to me, I have to really think before the words come out.
And my grade for first assignment is below average.
I feel like a complete blockhead. My essay is full of negative remarks, arrgh.. It's just exhausting just to think of it.
Once again, this university has surfaced my intimidation. Thank you. Hope you enjoy the view.
