At this age I'm supposed to be an adult, which means I have to be responsible, mature and realistic.
But my dream last night almost denied everything about this 'mature' concept. My dream illustrated that my growth should be stunted, because I'll never be emotionally and psychologically mature. My physique might look like a ripe young adult, but inside I'm still that little boy.
Last night dream was about a "RAYA" celebration in the hometown. Like always I'll be extremely excited about the gifts and niceness from the elders.
But later, my mom scolded me for leaving my expensive clothing at granny's. It was unintentional though, she knew this but she couldn't stop rubbing it on my face the whole raya. It was like, the grievous sin ever.
And as always, I would be the grumpy child again. Whenever my mom scolded me, I never felt guilty, but a raging fury inside. If it was visible, it might look like an erupting volcano. I was so mad for such an unreasonably petty reason. By the way I was always this person, a raging moron who snapped at everything.
So I schemed a plan against my mom of how to hurt her feelings. Typical me. What I did was ignoring her calls for help, mocking her, trashing the house and leaving it to her, etc etc etc.
Typical me.
I'm that bad son I know. But that is me. I love my mom so much I don't want her to hurt me. ???
Watching the past in a dream made me recall, what a jerk I was.
But this is the son she knows. And I'm always that little boy.
