Its about a dream I had last night to which I consider as bitter beyond measure.
I hope this one is not prophetic.
I dreamed that either my mom is gone from this world when I'm still studying in Auckland or when I just start working. This thought scares the hell out of me.
I remembered asking a student of mine of how to upload some cash into my phone. The thought is so vivid that I recall the whole scene happened at the dining hall in MRSM Taiping.
And suddenly my sister called to make sure I'm doing well in school. I could hear her voice cracking in despair. I could hear the little stream of tears she tried to hide. When I asked if she misses mom, we both broke in tears.
What if this really happens and I could not return home to take my last look at her? This would mean my last flight is the final goodbye. The ultimate farewell.
My mom loves to reiterate that this world is a brief sojourn from eternity. Then she would preach to me to be a good son even when she's gone. To shoulder the responsibilities as the big brother, providing positive images to my little siblings, becoming their role model.
This 'what if' thought is too consuming. Hopefully it'll go away in no time.
