Living in Auckland for 2 months have changed me. Not into transvestite or anything nasty like that.
Me before: Jovial, outspoken, confident, expressive, talkative, enthusiastic, know how to have a good time, fairly humorous, a little more positive.
Me now: Lonely, somber, sad, full of negative charges, quiet, 'whatever', insecure, blunt at jokes, keep-it-to-myself, intimidated.
Totally 180 degree transformation. Hope they are happy chap, seeing me at my worst state.
And yes, I don't know know how to have a good time anymore. Coz nobody gonna do it with me. Willingly.
Just hope I don't flunk my papers. That's it.
I used to be aware at assignments, even if I refuse to do it, at least I took great concern, thinking about it all the time. Now?? I don't give a shit.
I just need some good people to chat with, the people who match the chemistry. Not the peeps who talk about football 24/7, or who's-the-worst-person-on-earth discussion. Someone that I can be open and not superficial. Someone who can listen to my superfluous speeches and points of nothings, tirelessly.
I found that quality in my friends in KMS but yes, the distance sets us apart.
They say change is good. Now I doubt it.
Did I make the right choice? I didn't know that God already planned this thorny track. Perhaps for future lesson, to bring me up into a mature person.
But if being 'mature' means 'sad' and 'lonely', I prefer to be immature.
Oh, perhaps it's time to walk out of the comfort zone. Hm... Life can be complicated right?. I didn't know that.
