I am deeply unsettled about my impending return to Auckland. Not only that I have countless issues which need my immediate attention, I am also reluctant to leave my home. Sure, it feels like those times again.
These mixed feelings take me back to my first few days in MRSM, which I abhorred.
Those days that the only thing I wanted was to be home, yet the responsibility hunch drove me to carry on. Only to prove that I could only stay at that faraway school for one year only.
But what I meant to deliver was that mixed feeling that almost drove me insane. I hated being away from home, which proved otherwise that I went travelling so much these days. Yet there are days, or months that I stayed home without moving a mile away because I wanted to nurture my connection to the house, to establish my existence, my aura.
So my homecoming to Auckland this time will be a hurricane. That, I can guarantee.
Of homecoming, past few days I went to see off my cousin at his new school. It was an MRSM too, which brought back those days, it was so vivid it felt almost real. Surprisingly I met my English teacher who transferred to that school recently. I has been almost ten years since I was her student. Well that was a bit of homecoming too. It feels like everything is connected.
I hope this new year will bring me my virtuous qualities I used to treasure, and allow me to grow that persona into an excellent being. That is my spiritual homecoming.
